Since I got back from Florida, I've felt a bit off. I hit the ground hard here and found myself reverting to patterns of judgment and irritability. Bizarre thoughts, like "you think it's God's presence but really it's a coffee buzz," started running through my head. There's this sense of an old Enemy scratching around outside my defenses, looking for a place to get in.
Confirmed: dropping open my bible (not a recommended tactic), I landed on Matthew 4. The Temptation of Jesus in the wilderness. As I read about the temptations (feed your body, seek power, test God), I felt God was telling me that it is now time for some of His lessons to be tested. Here are the lies I've tried to supplant with truth. These are weak spots for me:
A: Productivity determines my worth.
B: God will not ultimately take care of my heart.
C: I can make my own way in life.
As a confirmation that I'm not schizophrenic, the bathroom devotional (those dorky one-line inspirational daily calenders you read while you pee) said, "God gives us his Spirit and then lets the tempter come." Right....
So for each lie, I've been collecting scripture to refute it. That's the tactic that Jesus used, so I won't try to improve on it. Good news is that I don't have to succumb to lies or temptations. In the past, each of those has seriously cripple me. That no longer needs to be the case.
I'm hoping these truths can be set in concrete: God accepts me unconditionally. God knows how to take care of my heart and meet my deepest needs. My wisdom and power is insufficient, but His is infinite....
Okay. I'm going to stop before I start writing a daily devotional calendar of my own! ;)
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