“Alright God. Now what?” I prayed this morning. I had just finished a
disappointing phone call, which effectively put an end to a month of work and
planning on an exciting new project.
I’ve had lots of those this year: “Now whats”. Fits and starts. Sudden
ends to exciting new dreams. And when those grand possibilities crumble, what’s left is the everyday
plodding; the stuff I just wake up and do
because it needs to get done. Yes, I’m growing. And yes, I’m tired of it. Been
there?
But today God answered me in a funny way: Now we turn over a new leaf.
“A new leaf huh?” I shrugged, bemused. “What’s that supposed to mean?” God
always teases me with these cryptic little Hallmark phrases. But what’s really funny
is when at some later moment, these little taglines come into focus with
shocking clarity and truth.
The reply came (as it often does) as a disembodied scripture reference:
Isaiah 43:19. (I don’t have this
stuff memorized by the way. Just following the breadcrumbs.) Here’s what it
says...
“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you
not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the
wasteland.” –Isaiah 43:19
Ok wow... Cool huh? I still don’t know what it all means. But
for one thing, I think it means that God promises to be a surprising source of
life and refreshment in those long arid stretches. I think it means that we can
(and should) find comfort and delight in His very tangible and personal
presence with us.
Anyway, I’ve been having this uncharacteristic anxiety lately. For
various reasons not worth mentioning, I’ve ditched my morning quiet time (which
had been such a grounding time of connecting with my Father). These days, I
check my smartphone dozens of times a day. I worry about money. I worry about
my job. I worry about my health. Even as I type this, I take a break to check
on our finances and boom. Worry. We are such fickle creatures aren’t we?
But even while I struggle to focus on this present
moment and God’s Spirit living in me during this harsh and tedious stretch, I can sense
that things are changing. He is indeed doing New Things.
For one, I booked a ticket to Ghana yesterday. On March 25, just over a year from the
time God told me (back in that camp shower at an Ethiopian retreat
center) to take a break from travel, I’m going back to Africa. I’ll be traversing
Northern Ghana with an amazing posse of young leaders, teaching on our
discipleship approach at a 3-day conference, and trekking through the hot
African bush to visit Muslim nomadic tribesmen in their grass-domed houses. I’m
hoping it will help me get my bearings on the work we do through Love Nomads
Coffee as well as deepen my relationships with these amazing young leaders who
are doing discipleship in some really innovative ways.
I’ve also felt a fresh push of inspiration in the
work I do with WDA’s international ministry. We’ve been redesigning our whole curriculum
and training approach, making quiet shifts away from an event-based conference
model toward a relational team-based coaching model. It doesn’t sound like a
big deal when I say that. But most days, it feels like a great collective
sedition toward something more wholesome, something we all want but can’t put
our finger on, something both organic and intentional.
My coffee roasting hobby has had its twists and turns
too. For the first time, I discovered a way to put a bean temperature probe in my handmade drum
roaster. It allows me to roast with incredible precision and control... In
other words, the coffee tastes better than ever. Plus I feel like a mad
scientist. :) Then I signed up for my first SCAA expo in April (basically it’s
geekfest for coffee freaks and professionals) and I'm beyond excited to check
out the roasting class, the brewer’s cup, the barista championship, and all
other iterations of brew snobbery. And I’m still dreaming about opening a café
of my own someday. Or a mobile tiny house turned coffee shop? Or???
But whatever the twists and turns, God is going to be
there with his quiet Presence and zany sense of humor, doing new and wild
things, things that I could never guess. I don’t want to get all wrapped up in the
significance (or insignificance) of what I might do tomorrow. Life is too short
and I want to enjoy today. I want to enjoy God’s simple goodness right now...
in this present moment. So while I wait for whatever
God is up to, my prayer is that I would just relax in the assurance of
surprising paths in the wilderness, streams in the desert.
