Why are evangelicals only slightly more appreciated than prostitutes?

Today, I’m chewing on Hosea, the Old Testament book in which God tells the prophet Hosea to marry a prostitute. And when she is unfaithful God commands him to literally buy her back at a prostitute’s price... it's supposed to be an allegory for God’s relationship with Israel. People like the book because it graphically demonstrates God’s passionate pursuit of people, even at the cost of his own dignity.

But today I’m drawn in by something else. I’m amazed by the way God talks about righteousness and unrighteousness. Here’s an example from chapter 4:

“There is no faithfulness, no love,
    no acknowledgment of God in the land.
There is only cursing,^[a] lying and murder,
    stealing and adultery;
they break all bounds,
    and bloodshed follows bloodshed.”

Notice anything? Faithfulness, love, and acknowledgment of God (the good stuff)... those are internal realities. Cursing, lying, and murder... that’s all external. So when people are spiraling away from God, the proof here is seen in their actions.

And while we all expect goodness to symmetrically show itself as a behavioral reality, in fact, it’s a heart thing. Paul says it this way in Galatians 5:

¹⁹ The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; ²⁰ idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions²¹ and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 

We all know that attitudes and behavior are inextricably linked. Of course they are! But when talking about goodness, the bible (at least from the prophets onward) is careful about NOT talking it as just a behavioral thing. I imagine it’s a built-in safeguard against legalism and self-righteousness.

Shame on the Church for missing this. We’ve gotten good at defining ourselves as a religious community by what we don’t do and don’t approve of. That may be one reason that in 2002, the Barna Group reported,

Surprisingly Few Adults Outside of Christianity Have Positive Views of Christians

Well, in fact, when asked to give their impressions of 11 groups, non-Christians ranked “evangelicals” at number 10... just ahead of prostitutes.

We like being able to judge the behavioral indicators of “moral decay”. But then we define our own goodness in the same behavioral terms. But as much as we stand apart from the herd in our refusal to drink, swear, smoke, or sleep around (calling it our “testimony”), non-Christians can still take one look at our attitude and disposition and say, “Yeah right. I’m not buying what you’re selling.”

So next time you hear a Christian rant about the rotten state of affairs in the world, you can say, “so what makes you any better?” And if they tell you all about their quiet times, or political activism, or church attendance, or lifestyle choices, just say, “alright, but how’s your heart? Because from where I sit, you’re still not looking any better than anyone else.” If you say do that, you may be doing that person a huge favor.

Dealing with the Expectation of Rejection

I’ve moved 12 times in 12 years. I’ve experienced the pain of making and losing friends over and over again. At times I’ve been rejected outright. Other times, people have just faded away. It has made connection and vulnerability a tricky thing when I expect people be gone from my life after a year or two.

Rejection is hard for anyone. But for me it’s become quite the sore spot and a topic of a lot of thought. This year, I’m settling into a place that could be home for the rest of my life. Yet I still see people through the strained eyes of a traveler. In the last month, I’ve gently put my weight down on 2 or 3 relationships here and found safety and acceptance. But it’s strange and uncomfortable and I don’t trust it yet.

There’s something deep and wonderful about the way Jesus deals with the expectation of rejection. I’ve been watching him carefully through the course of Mark 14, his last evening with his disciples. He acknowledges, “You will all fall away.” Yet I hear the tone of that evening (John 13-17), and I don’t think, “this is a conversation between people who are about to be alienated from each other.” The feeling is vulnerable, intimate, and hushed.

Here are a few highlights of Jesus’ reaction that leave me scratching my head:

-He does not deflect his pain, but expresses it. “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death”

-He expresses his disappointment in them. “Could you not keep watch for one hour?”

-He expresses a sense of deep personal worthiness. “Woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man.”

-He is earnest, not cynical.

-He chooses to be vulnerable and intimate, washing their feet. He even seems to ramp up the vulnerability at the end.

-Yet he does NOT try to change their minds or win them back.

-He sees PAST the rejection. “I will go ahead of you into Galilee.”

-He carries a deep sense of purpose. “The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him.”

What I see in Jesus isn’t masochism. But he allows his friends to be his friends up to the last moment. He doesn’t check out of the relationship prematurely. He gives them a choice even though he knows what they will choose. If it were me... I couldn’t do that.

I’m really trying these days to give people a choice to either accept or reject me, even if past experience tells me it’s a forgone conclusion. Sometimes I’m pleasantly surprised. Sometimes my fears come true.

But there’s something cathartic even in realizing my worst fears and then waking up the next day. Because in all the worst case scenarios in my head, there IS no “tomorrow". Just... game over. But I’m discovering that win or lose, there IS something cool about showing up to play the game. Somehow it feels that the risk itself makes vulnerability worth my while. Maybe Jesus knew that too.

There’s so much I DON’T grasp about Jesus’ friendship with the 12. But it feels profoundly (big G) Good. One more reason I’m happy to call myself one of His followers.