I’m becoming convinced that one of the most dangerous things that stands against the growth of a Christian is the ability to take offense. As the Lord has been stripping things out of my life to make room for a stronger and more consistent experience of his Presence, one of the notable things that is being removed is the offense I’ve taken at people, political figures, and other Christians.
I’ve become painfully aware of the ways in which I’ve taken offense and nursed judgments against people based on my ignorance. Worst of all, I’ve put my offense in the category of “righteous indignation” believing that God was somehow pleased by my courage in “holding the line”, resisting evil, speaking truth. Televangelists, politicians, conservatives, liberals, denominations I dislike or disagree with, cultural or religious groups: enemies.
I’m aware today of how very self-deceived I’ve become, how ignorant I’ve been. I’ve been lured in by other people’s offense and spread my own offense on blogs and social media like the highly contagious disease it is. For all that, I now repent.
Yesterday, God told me to read a passage in staff meeting. Matthew 5:21… “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister, will be subject to judgment.”
At the time I didn’t apply it to myself, but one of my teammates said “that’s the passage we read in our bible study this morning. God must be speaking to you!” So we spent time in prayer inviting God to search our hearts and then went on with the meeting. Later that day I found myself in a prayer meeting with 2 pastors from a local church. They were there to pray over me and my teammate before we go to India next week. When these 2 pastors began to pray, this issue of offense began to rise up in my heart.
When I had moved to the south 6 years ago, I had formed strong judgments about that church based on a few experiences and a lot of assumptions. I even wrote an incendiary blog post about one of the experience I had at one of their events.
But in that prayer meeting Jesus walked into the room as these men prayed. The presence of God was so thick as they blessed us with prayers for safety, protection, and anointing on our trip. I realized then that these men, and their church had never done anything but bless me, even though in my heart I had been cursing them all this time. Yet I recognized in them kindred hearts; brothers on their own unique journey with Jesus who lives in me and also in them. I felt convictions rising in me and wrestled with the reality that I would have to talk to them about this. As I wrestled with wanting to confess and apologize to them for my offense but also not wanting to be vulnerable, I heard the Holy Spirit in my heart.
“Child, do you know what your heart is without offense?”
“No Lord. What?”
“Free.”
That settled it. Pulling them aside after prayer, I shared the story. I repented for my hard and bitter hard. I asked for their forgiveness as representatives of their community. With great tenderness and compassion they accepted my confession and one of the pastors put his hand on me to pray for me. As he did, I wept: something I rarely do in front of others. I walked away lighter, joyful, free from that barb of offense that had been lodged in my heart for years.
So I wonder… who has offended you?
And what will you do about it now?
