God has been pouring grace into my life in a special way for the last 2 years: it’s the grace of Him showing up day after day in ways I can feel and experience. It’s favor beyond anything I can work for or earn. Now I feel like I’m at a cross roads. A number of things have changed about my life that have made it harder to connect with Him lately: mainly I just got really busy. But every time I turn my eyes even half-heartedly in Jesus’ direction, I can feel Him there with me, as loving and kind as ever. It reminds me that there is absolutely nothing deficient or cagey about God’s desire and willingness to connect with His kids. As the song goes, "you don't give your heart in pieces. You don't hide yourself to tease us." Hard as it is for us to accept, the blockage is on our end, not His. So my battle is never to win His heart or convince Him to connect with me, but to find the willingness and desire within myself to connect with Him and stay connected throughout the day.
When I’m connected to Him, I feel Him inviting me into something in this season, and really it is more of the same. He is inviting me to stay connected, to take time, to be disciplined, to train my body and spirit, to be healthy, to do battle, and to trust. But when I’m NOT taking Him up on those invitations, my failure to do what He’s been asking me to do becomes a harsh law within me instead of a loving invitation. But today I’m reminded that the invitation is not from a season of grace to a season of law-based discipline. Rather, it is an invitation to explore the territory of grace more deeply: to apply grace to new situations and scenarios. Like…
*When my house is smoke damaged from a pot of turkey left on the stove on Christmas Eve and you live in a hotel with my family for weeks (maybe months) and battle worry about the million details and decisions needed to get back to “normal” life, I’m reminded that this was all planned and actually it’s my Christmas gift. Jesus is giving me needed time with my family, a new kitchen, free meals, and daily opportunities to lean into his strong arms of grace and blessing.
*When because of said hotel stay (and Christmas break), my daily rhythms of time spent with Jesus go down the toilet, Jesus reminds me that even if I choose not to connect with Him today or tomorrow or for the next 10 years, nothing will separate me from His love or his eagerness to be with me.
*When in 10 days, I’m traveling solo to a relatively dangerous part of west Africa to train 200 leaders and not feeling fully ready or equipped for the task at hand, God tells me “I’ve handed this task to you and not someone else. So trust me and don’t be afraid.”
*When I’m invited to run a half iron-man and I want to do it but I also can’t seem to fully commit to the diet and exercise pieces needed to train for that, Jesus seems to appear in my mind wearing an 80’s rainbow sweatband, wristbands, and a goofy smile. He's more than happy to do it with me, but totally disinterested in condemning me for gluttony or laziness.
*When I’ve been trusted with new staff, a large grant to develop a global training program, and higher-stakes partnership opportunities around the world and I wonder if I have what it takes to not let everyone down, Jesus reminds me that it’s really not about me and that he has set me free from the shackles of success; that I actually don’t HAVE to succeed to be loved and that he’ll stay with me no matter what.
What a joy that God has provided a way for us to get a “righteous” verdict outside of the Law! “Now to the one who works, his wage is not credited as a favor but as what is due” (Rom 4:4). I have written in my bible, “works righteousness is SLAVERY!” I know my ability to work hard to get God to bless me and to like me is pitiful. Plus, the minute I start thinking that reading my bible, going to church, or being nice to my kids makes God like me more, I walk right into that slavery. It can happen as easy as a 5-second thought.
“But to the one who does not work, but believes in Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is credited as righteousness.” Isn’t that so much better? Isn’t it so much less pressure to trust the faithfulness of my loving Father rather than my ability to perform admirably or to conjure up faith? And don’t you think my performance will be better anyway when I release my need to “be okay” through performance and trust the goodness of the One who is more than willing to make me “okay” because of what Jesus did on my behalf?
I think what is striking to me about all this is how far the reign of grace extends into my life as a believer. Grace didn’t just cover my weakness when I first came to Jesus as a sinner desperately needing His help. Grace continues to cover me in the midst of living a relatively purposeful Christian life. I suppose that’s the whole Romans 5 thing: “In order that just as sin reigned in death, grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life.” We never graduate from Grace to Law. Ever. Grace is king over the new believer and the mature believer alike. And "growing in grace" will mean diving deeper into the same stuff that saved us in the first place and trusting the Grace-Giver like little kids. Sounds like good new to me.
