Figs in Exile: a good day, a good promise

Today is a good day. It is an important day. Today, we are officially full-time support-raisers.

From today and over the next six months, we will be logging thousands of miles and hundreds of hours talking with people who love us and who love discipleship. We'll be asking those people to join our monthly support team and be part of the community that empowers us to live out our vision of raising up whole-hearted people who wholeheartedly follow Jesus.

Yesterday, we finished packing all our belongings into 2 cars and a little trailer and left Chicago. Over the last week, we've received so much love and affirmation from our community. So many people had been genuinely touched by our time, our friendship, and our hospitality. Some talked about a lasting transformation in their lives that they linked to our investment in them. I was blown away. For someone who at times feels invisible and insignificant, this was an eye-opener: I'm beginning to live my dreams. Somehow, God is empowering me to make an impact and that's so freakin thrilling!

Today, I have a new home in Minnesota. We're with Debra's parents who are graciously hosting us while we raise our support. I've lived here before, 3 years ago. But last time I was here, I was having a faith crisis. For 6 months, I didn't know what I thought about Jesus or the bible or the power of God. I was deeply skeptical and I began to wonder if I would have to abandon the faith I grew up with along with the promises and callings God had planted in me over the years.

But today I'm in a radically different place. Over 3 years in Chicago, I've seen God do literal miracles to bring me a place where I'm watching my dreams unfold before my eyes. All the while, I've become more and more convinced of the compelling beauty of Jesus and the Fathering heart of God and the radical truthfulness of the bible. It has given me tremendous hope and excitement. I believe now (strong operatic singing voice) that "dreams really dooooo come true!"

Today, God told me to read Jeremiah 24 (no really, He did). In it, God gives a vision to the prophet comparing the exiled Isrealites to good ripe figs. Like the exiles, the Harkness family is now wandering; transients looking for a home, a place to grow roots. But as He promised those good-fig Israelites, God gave me this promise today: "My eyes will watch over them for their good...  I will build them up and not tear them down; I will plant them and not uproot them.  I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD."

I like that. When I have in my heart a promise of rootedness... of home.... it frees me to travel in wider relational, emotional, and geographic circles. Because I know that I have a promise of roots, of a literal and allegorical home base.

Today is a mountain top of vision... one of those days that stands out like a punctuation mark between the long sentences of daily decision-making. I see what's behind and I see what's ahead and I like what I see.

It's all a wash

I feel like God has been doing a lot of money-related things with us lately. We just added 3 new supporters last week bringing us closer to full-time ministry. I've started thinking and reading about stock market investing. Yesterday, I bought a bunch of stuff at a garage sale to either keep for myself or resell on ebay (a natural side business for two compulsive rummage salers). When I was going through the pocket of the big framepack I got, I found $150 in cash! I was ecstatic and then mortified when I realized I would need to tell the people who were running the sale. I managed to find their email on Craigslist and told them about the money, giving them the option to claim it or let it be (the backpack's owner had passed away and his roommates were selling his stuff).

I thought to myself, "well maybe God wants to bless our integrity with even MORE money. Maybe if we do this, someone will pay our student loans, or we'll make it big on the stock market, or we'll get more supporters." ...To which Debra bluntly replied that I had my head screwed on backwards.

Paul puts it this way: "But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things."

Wouldn't it be cool if I just got to know Jesus better through all this? Yeah I'm still trying to convince myself of that too. But I guess even if we make it big (and I don't see that happening anytime soon!) I can consider it all a wash when I think about how cool it is to know and be loved by Jesus. If after that, I'm still hanging on to the dream of wealth, that's my issue, not his.

Resting

Below is an excerpt from an email I sent to my men's group...

I haven't had a reading plan with the bible lately. Each day I crack it open to a new spot because I don't feel I have the energy to commit to a whole section. But God's been really faithful and as often as not will lead me to a specific place, often by dropping a random reference in my head. Today it was 1 Corinthians 3:11-13. Before I even knew what it said, the Lord challenged me to memorize it. Here's what it says:

"For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If any man builds on that foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay, or straw, his work will be shown for what it is because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed by fire and the fire will test the quality of each man's work."

At first I felt convicted that I wasn't working hard enough or doing quality work in the kingdom. I though about our group and felt like maybe we should be doing something other than hanging out and drinking beer. But the more I thought about the things we could do differently, the more I realized that I've just been building with straw and trying HARDER is just adding more straw to the pile. It'll all burn up in the end. I realized that I can't build with what I don't have.

So while at first that verse was a challenge for me to work harder, in the end I realized that for me, it was a challenge to rest in the Father's love and to ask Him to fill my heart with good things that I can poor into others. In John 14, Jesus says, "I will not leave you as orphans" but so much of me still  believes that I AM an orphan. The more I can soak in God's love for me, the more I'll have the right materials to build with.

Gideon and Guinea part 2

Debra told me in the most gracious and loving way yesterday that my blogs are incoherent. I think "rushed" is the word she used. Well yeah. I write these things at 6 in the morning. If they don't make sense, it's okay to furrow your brows and nod politely like they're the most profound thing you've ever read. ;)

I wrote a couple days ago about the patience God has in giving sign after sign to Gideon. I feel like that a lot: God has to get my attention in some novel new way every time He wants to work through me. What really amazes me is that 27 years later, He's still playing along, still giving me little miracles to confirm my faith. Here's the latest....

I was on a crowded train station in downtown Chicago last Tuesday. I was so distracted by a musician that I accidentally got on the wrong train. Inside the crowded car, I heard a voice remarking on my flag-patched backpack: “Are those all the countries you’ve been to? Have you been to Guinea?” I turned to see a young African man sitting behind me. He explained that he grew up in Guinea so I proceeded to pull out my best Pulaar from my 2-month visit in 2009 to ask if he spoke the language. We chatted about the Fouta, mafe tiga, and local a Guinean restaurant. He grew up in Dalaba up in the hill country. It's the most beautiful place on God's green earth, by the way.

When he heard about my time in nearby Kankalabe, he said he knew some folks there. He dropped the name of an American family and I cooly replied that they were the ones I had stayed with in the village! Even more amazing, his adopted mother was a missionary in Dalaba.

At that point I said, "Wait! What's your name?"

"Hajji!" he replied. I had indeed met his mother! She had told me all about her son living in Chicago and asked that I get in touch with him. I think I may have his contact info lying around the house somewhere!

I gave him my card and we agreed to meet up for Guinean food one of these days. At that point, I realized I was in China town… definitely not where I planned to go. I had to get off and switch trains.

It makes me wonder about things. God keeps bringing the Fulbe into my life even in Chicago. You may recall that months before coming to Guinea I randomly met a man from Kankalabe whose family I befriended while I was there. From that one contact came several good Guinean contacts who I still hear from.

Now I’m in global disciple building ministry and my heart is to impact the Africa (and especially the Sahel) by training African believers to effectively disciple others toward maturity and christlikeness. I’m still unsure how I can do this among the muslim Fulani, but there I was on a train, in the middle of a divine appointment being offered a relationship with one of the world's only Fulani believers. I think that’s cool and I can only imagine what the Lord has in mind.

That makes at least three divine appointments surrounding the Fulani. The other was when my mentor gave me a paper written by a missionary to the Fulani who beautifully embodied my philosophy of ministry AND just HAPPENED to be the father of my housemate. That connection led to a long-standing relationship with this man, and ultimately to my 2009 internship in Guinea. Is there any doubt that God has an ongoing purpose for my life regarding this semi-nomadic African tribe? 

What's the Lord up to here?