5 years and feeling grand!

Debra and I are going HERE for our 5th anniversary in 2 days!! Besides being right on the ocean, I here they serve home-made donuts for breakfast every day! Hurray! It's the little stuff that excites me. You may not understand why the idea of driving a rental car thrills me.... but maybe you haven't met my car. Mostly, I'm stoked to get 5 days alone with my wife and no real agenda. That's a first for us! At the end of our trip, we'll pay a visit to my grandma in nearby Port Orange. She's about the hippest 90-somethings gal around. And if you haven't played Skipbo with Grandma, you haven't really lived.

Boundary Waters recap and a reflection on mountaintop experiences

I just got back from the Boundary Waters with 8 friends from Chicago and Minneapolis (including 3 guys from my men’s group). We canoed out of South Hegman Lake near Ely, MN and camped for 3 nights. The first day we went cliff jumping over some ancient petraglyphs stained into the rocks. The second day we dove for fresh-water clams and cooked them for dinner. We swam several times a day, laid in hammocks, and traversed miles of portages. We had temps in the 60’s and 70’s, warm water, and hardly a drop of rain. We laughed a lot together but also had some sweet times of silence, reveling in nature by day under partly cloudy skies and at night by a blindingly bright moon and crackling campfire.

As a former BWCA trip leader, I was designated the trip’s organizer. I don’t mind leading this stuff, since I’m proud of my northern Minnesota roots. I love playing tour guide with my friends and exposing people to the pristine beauty of the Northwoods. There’s a certain rhythm to a boundary waters trip. From the big daily rhythms (wake up, break camp, paddle, portage, paddle, set up camp, go to bed) to the meditative rhythm of a paddle gliding through still water, I think those rhythms, far more than straight hiking, make a canoe trip soothing and restorative for busy people.

It would have been enough just to enjoy the beauty of God’s creation. But it happened that our participants were all gifted leaders in their own right. I wanted to find some way to encourage them in their leadership. So we spent some time talking about Ezekiel 36 and God’s call to shepherd the flock with integrity. I challenged each person to invest their time in discipling younger believers believing that God has given them all the needed qualifications to lead well and make an impact. In turn, they encouraged my leadership abilities and affirmed my ministry calling. A highlight for me was a full 20 minutes of focused prayer for me at the end of our trip full of prophetic words and loving encouragement. That token of love and validation continued to chip away at the deep belief that I don’t deserve that sort of care or attention. I was honestly taken aback.

I think for most people there, it was a mountaintop experience… a special moment of connectedness with God, self, and others. I’ve been contemplating what it would look like to intentionally facilitate those kinds of experiences as a part of my disciple-building efforts through weekend retreats and the like. I’m learning that effective discipleship is a good combination of mountaintop highs and daily decision-making. I want to be able to walk through both kinds of experiences with people I’m ministering to because neither one seems to work without the other.

And if nothing else… I just like camping.

Home Renovation from John 14

I have cable now, so when the TV goes on, it's usually DIY network or HGTV. For some reason, we love the design and home improvement shows. It's cool to see a space totally transformed, to see an ugly and non-functional space become functional and really good-looking.

Jesus tells his disciples in John 14, "If anyone loves me, he [or she] will obey my teachings. My father will love him and we will come to him and make our home with him."

I kind of imagine Jesus and the Father carrying a suitcase of personal belongings (maybe they're like Mary Poppins suitcases that can hold coat racks and couches) into the dusty foreclosure of my heart and going to work. The thing is, they're not going to "flip" my heart to sell. They're gonna live here. If Jesus is gonna renovate his own home, I imagine he'll do it right from the start. He'll gut the place and rebuild with the best materials. After all, he's settling in here for the long haul.

I don't think Jesus heals broken hearts just because he's super duper nice. I think it's because he lives in hearts and every broken thing he touches becomes whole. It's like he can't even help himself. It's just who he is.

I get it. Whenever we move somewhere new, Debra gets this slightly crazed look in her eye that say, "I shall nest here and I shall not be content until I feel comfortable in this space!" Then she works her tail off cleaning, painting, rearranging, and decorating until the place feels like it functionally and artistically reflects our personality and style.

I think God gets that same ambitious look in His eye about us. Like a savvy homebuyer, he saw past the sick carpet and mouse droppings when he toured the place and envisioned the finished product. He would stop at nothing to make my heart his home, a place that beautifully reflects his personality and style. It's like he can't even help himself.

Figs in Exile: a good day, a good promise

Today is a good day. It is an important day. Today, we are officially full-time support-raisers.

From today and over the next six months, we will be logging thousands of miles and hundreds of hours talking with people who love us and who love discipleship. We'll be asking those people to join our monthly support team and be part of the community that empowers us to live out our vision of raising up whole-hearted people who wholeheartedly follow Jesus.

Yesterday, we finished packing all our belongings into 2 cars and a little trailer and left Chicago. Over the last week, we've received so much love and affirmation from our community. So many people had been genuinely touched by our time, our friendship, and our hospitality. Some talked about a lasting transformation in their lives that they linked to our investment in them. I was blown away. For someone who at times feels invisible and insignificant, this was an eye-opener: I'm beginning to live my dreams. Somehow, God is empowering me to make an impact and that's so freakin thrilling!

Today, I have a new home in Minnesota. We're with Debra's parents who are graciously hosting us while we raise our support. I've lived here before, 3 years ago. But last time I was here, I was having a faith crisis. For 6 months, I didn't know what I thought about Jesus or the bible or the power of God. I was deeply skeptical and I began to wonder if I would have to abandon the faith I grew up with along with the promises and callings God had planted in me over the years.

But today I'm in a radically different place. Over 3 years in Chicago, I've seen God do literal miracles to bring me a place where I'm watching my dreams unfold before my eyes. All the while, I've become more and more convinced of the compelling beauty of Jesus and the Fathering heart of God and the radical truthfulness of the bible. It has given me tremendous hope and excitement. I believe now (strong operatic singing voice) that "dreams really dooooo come true!"

Today, God told me to read Jeremiah 24 (no really, He did). In it, God gives a vision to the prophet comparing the exiled Isrealites to good ripe figs. Like the exiles, the Harkness family is now wandering; transients looking for a home, a place to grow roots. But as He promised those good-fig Israelites, God gave me this promise today: "My eyes will watch over them for their good...  I will build them up and not tear them down; I will plant them and not uproot them.  I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD."

I like that. When I have in my heart a promise of rootedness... of home.... it frees me to travel in wider relational, emotional, and geographic circles. Because I know that I have a promise of roots, of a literal and allegorical home base.

Today is a mountain top of vision... one of those days that stands out like a punctuation mark between the long sentences of daily decision-making. I see what's behind and I see what's ahead and I like what I see.