4.22.2019

Leadership Lessons from a Blueberry


I love fruit plants. I grew up with a giant raspberry patch and know the pleasure of eating fresh berries throughout the height of summer. Debra and i have an acre of old pine forest in Georgia with a spot cleared in the back of it for our house and tiny back yard. I that small oasis of sun, I’ve planted apples, pears, peaches, raspberries, blackberries, grapes, and blueberries. As I said… I like fruit. But I don’t exactly have a green thumb. I can get the plants to grow. But getting them to actually bear abundant, delicious fruit requires knowledge that feels unattainable. Maybe I’m a fruit agnostic.

But Jesus has been telling me the last couple years that gardening is a spiritual discipline. He’s been saying I won’t know how to grow people until I learn to grow plants. So I’ve been trying to garden in prayer: a little bit each morning. I’ve also been researching, listening to podcasts, and trying to learn how to coax my dinner from the dirt. But mostly I’ve been trying to listen to God as I garden, knowing that as he talks to me about plants, he’ll also be speaking to me about myself and how I shepherd the growth of others.

I have one blueberry bush that has grown so explosively the last couple years, I was convinced it was a weed. I couldn’t remember planting it and I debated tearing the whole thing out to make room for other plants. I saw plenty of leaves, but no berries! But I had enough faith that this leafy bush was actually a blueberry deep down inside that I let it be. Then last week, I saw a few clusters of tiny green orbs emerging under the branches. I nearly squealed, “It’s a blueberry!!”

Today, the Lord told me to go prune my fruit plants with him. I was intimidated. I’ve read a little about pruning but I still worries I will over-prune, or prune the wrong branch, or not prune enough. But I knew my plants were big enough to handle pruning and that the only way to encourage fruitfulness was to clip back some growth. I also felt like God would show me what to prune and how. I actually heard Jesus say, “i’m a master pruner. My father showed me how and I can show you.” So I went to town on my big leafy blueberry. And in the process I learned a few things about plants, about myself, and about leadership…

1.) “Clip the leader. Clip the leader.” This phrase rang through my head as I cut the new growth emerging from the tips of the branches. As I did, I saw the strong supporting branches underneath: fruit-making machines. I knew the water and nutrients being used to send out new shoots would now be used to make the existing branches bear delicious, healthy fruit; fruit that would be enjoyed by the gardener and could even create whole new plants.

Young leaders create new possibilities. Young leaders open the way for whole new growth options. And as those branches grow, the root structure is also strengthened. Until the plant is established, you want to let the leaders run: they are creating the scaffold of the plant. But once established, new options can be cut so growth can be consolidated on the supporting branches (the now-established leaders of  yesterday). Those young leaders are not responsible for forcing fruit to grow on the branches. Sometimes the best thing they can do is get out of the way, trusting the life in the plant is viable in and of itself.

This hits home for me because I’m a leader in a pruning season. In some ways, my ability to manage the organization and people I need to connect with has been greatly reduced as I’m pressing into the needs of my family and the growth the Lord is working in my personal life. I’m unable to pursue new leads and nurture new partnerships. In some ways, I feel clipped. I have to confront the belief that in my absence, the whole ministry will go belly up. But it hasn’t gone belly up! It has grown! And this is teaching me that the life of the ministry is viable with or without me. The roots are established and the branches are spreading far and wide. As I step out of the way, encouraging the branches to do their thing, those branches will find new resources from the bottom up to bear real lasting fruit. On a personal level, I feel like my leading talents have taken a back seat the last couple years so that the sun can shine on emerging abilities. Some things I was known for in the past have been clipped and the branches which have been growing beneath the canopy are now bearing fruit.

Ok, I’m out of time for this post. But quickly, here are a few other insights I gained from pruning this morning. Apply it to your personal growth or to your ministry as the Lord speaks to you…

2.) Crowded branches bear limited fruit. There is a limited amount of resources for multiple branches trying to make fruit in the same space.
3.) Dead and diseased branches HAVE to be cut off. It feels heartless because I want to believe those spotty brown leaves will magically turn green again if I give it time. But it is evident to everyone their time on the plant is over. At some point, they are a liability to the whole plant and threaten other branches with disease and must be removed with decisiveness and precision.
4.) Small shoots that stay too close to the trunk in the shadow of the other branches might look pretty, but they’ll never bear fruit. They have to branch out or be cut off.
5.) Pruning should always be done in moderation. You don’t want to become overzealous or you’ll destroy the plant.
6.) Pruning should be done at the proper time. There is a season for everything.

There’s a lot of deep stuff in there that Jesus was talking to me about. But I gotta go now so I’ll let you sit with it and see what comes out. Regardless, I hope this little chat was… fruitful! (womp womp)

2.14.2019

On Loving God


Oceans. There are oceans contained in the first commandment: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all you soul, with all your mind.” Along my Christian journey to be more like Jesus, I’m amazed at how long it has taken for me to be able to say with simple confidence: “I love God.”

When I was young, loving God was no more that loving myself: liking the blessings and benefits of God. I loved the idea of a God who did stuff for me, who inflated my sense of security and value. Then loving God became mysterious, esoteric. In reality I think it was because love itself was a mystery. I could read Paul’s definition of love in 1 Corinthians and agree that a love that kept no record of wrong, rejoiced with the truth, and bore all things was a nice ideal. But I had no clue where the resources to practice that kind of love came from except a general inkling that they came from God Himself.

10 years ago I got hungry to understand love. Around that time, we had our first child and I was pulling out of a significant crisis of faith in which I wasn’t sure I believed in God anymore (much less loved Him). But after that season, I started hearing people speak about a “revelation of the Father’s love”. That was a mystery to me, but just hearing others talk about how God had changed their lives through this mysterious outpouring of His love drew me in.

Then one day, a quiet internal voice said “my child, I love you.” I knew from the bible God loved me. I imagined this love to be a general, grandfatherly love that felt mildly magnanimous toward all its creatures. But I had never heard God inside me saying “I love you” just to me. I remember the warm buzz of affection that came with that voice and I remember smiling and saying, “Thanks Jesus! I know you do!”

The response in my heart was sharp and immediate: “No you don’t. But that’s okay. I love you.” That affirmation of his love and acceptance and the warm feeling of His love crashing over me like an ocean last 6 weeks and then stopped. Or maybe I stopped listening. Either way, it was painful.

Then 3 years ago, I was coming out of another dry and difficult season. One day I was driving in my car listening to the radio and I heard that same voice say something else: “My child I love you. And I really enjoy spending time with you.” It’s one thing to know God loves you powerfully and individually. It’s another thing to know that he gets something out of the time you spend together: that he can not only give love but receive love as well. It motivated me to spend more time with him.

The more I did, the more I felt His love. Soon I could feel His love with the slightest shift of my attention in his direction. The more I felt His love, the more I was able and willing to orient my life towards it. Things that were tedious and difficult became light and easy to me. I could give things up easily when God asked for them.

One day I had a tense conversation with my wife. I could feel the impulse to argue, explain, and justify. But as I was about to lob another volley of self-protective and self-promoting words over the wall, a voice settled like dew on my brain: “ya know, you don’t have to get your way. And you don’t have to be understood.” I felt the tension flow out of my body and a joyful lightness flood in. From then on, whenever that tension came back, I could easily remember that I was now free from the obligation to protect and preserve myself by getting my way in anything. 

Whole universes unlocked for me in that simple word. I could be work a menial job and be perfectly happy. I could lose my house, even my health and rest content. I could be dragged to prison by a corrupt Zambian policeman looking for a bribe and feel nothing but joyful acceptance in the detour of my plans. I felt like a super power that was given to me by one simple and inviting word: “you don’t have to get your way.”

Not long after, I heard the voice say (as it had now been saying daily for over a year) “child, I love you. And now you know it.” I was at the bird sanctuary that morning. I’ll tell you, I sang and shouted and danced in the woods! I felt God’s assurance that I had finally allowed Him to love me. My mind was no longer conflicted. I longer felt vague and mysterious about what love was, what it felt like. I was feeling it. I knew it by smell, taste, and touch. And for the first time, I just let it in without caveats or reservations.

Today, I told God, “I love you.” And I could hear the smile in the words that came back. “I know you do, child.” Though I can say with truth and confidence that I love God, I can still feel the bounded nature and weakness of that love: the fact that my attention span for God is little more than an hour, the fact that I still feel the pressure to get on to the “real work” of the day, the fact that there are still some things that scare me.

So I think I’m entering a season of pruning: inviting him to trim these fruitful branches to make them even more fruitful. I want to press deeper into his love: to let Him love me more deeply, to let him burn out the remaining self-love that once drew me to Him, but now hinders my growth. And this journey, like the others, won’t be a journey of exertion or insight but one of believing and trusting: just learning to rest in the good news. He loves me. And I get to love him too.

1.15.2019

Grace is King


God has been pouring grace into my life in a special way for the last 2 years: it’s the grace of Him showing up day after day in ways I can feel and experience. It’s favor beyond anything I can work for or earn. Now I feel like I’m at a cross roads. A number of things have changed about my life that have made it harder to connect with Him lately: mainly I just got really busy. But every time I turn my eyes even half-heartedly in Jesus’ direction, I can feel Him there with me, as loving and kind as ever. It reminds me that there is absolutely nothing deficient or cagey about God’s desire and willingness to connect with His kids. As the song goes, "you don't give your heart in pieces. You don't hide yourself to tease us." Hard as it is for us to accept, the blockage is on our end, not His. So my battle is never to win His heart or convince Him to connect with me, but to find the willingness and desire within myself to connect with Him and stay connected throughout the day.

When I’m connected to Him, I feel Him inviting me into something in this season, and really it is more of the same. He is inviting me to stay connected, to take time, to be disciplined, to train my body and spirit, to be healthy, to do battle, and to trust. But when I’m NOT taking Him up on those invitations, my failure to do what He’s been asking me to do becomes a harsh law within me instead of a loving invitation. But today I’m reminded that the invitation is not from a season of grace to a season of law-based discipline. Rather, it is an invitation to explore the territory of grace more deeply: to apply grace to new situations and scenarios. Like…

*When my house is smoke damaged from a pot of turkey left on the stove on Christmas Eve and you live in a hotel with my family for weeks (maybe months) and battle worry about the million details and decisions needed to get back to “normal” life, I’m reminded that this was all planned and actually it’s my Christmas gift. Jesus is giving me needed time with my family, a new kitchen, free meals, and daily opportunities to lean into his strong arms of grace and blessing.

*When because of said hotel stay (and Christmas break), my daily rhythms of time spent with Jesus go down the toilet, Jesus reminds me that even if I choose not to connect with Him today or tomorrow or for the next 10 years, nothing will separate me from His love or his eagerness to be with me.

*When in 10 days, I’m traveling solo to a relatively dangerous part of west Africa to train 200 leaders and not feeling fully ready or equipped for the task at hand, God tells me “I’ve handed this task to you and not someone else. So trust me and don’t be afraid.”

*When I’m invited to run a half iron-man and I want to do it but I also can’t seem to fully commit to the diet and exercise pieces needed to train for that, Jesus seems to appear in my mind wearing an 80’s rainbow sweatband, wristbands, and a goofy smile. He's more than happy to do it with me, but totally disinterested in condemning me for gluttony or laziness.

*When I’ve been trusted with new staff, a large grant to develop a global training program, and higher-stakes partnership opportunities around the world and I wonder if I have what it takes to not let everyone down, Jesus reminds me that it’s really not about me and that he has set me free from the shackles of success; that I actually don’t HAVE to succeed to be loved and that he’ll stay with me no matter what.

What a joy that God has provided a way for us to get a “righteous” verdict outside of the Law! “Now to the one who works, his wage is not credited as a favor but as what is due” (Rom 4:4). I have written in my bible, “works righteousness is SLAVERY!” I know my ability to work hard to get God to bless me and to like me is pitiful. Plus, the minute I start thinking that reading my bible, going to church, or being nice to my kids makes God like me more, I walk right into that slavery. It can happen as easy as a 5-second thought. 

“But to the one who does not work, but believes in Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is credited as righteousness.” Isn’t that so much better? Isn’t it so much less pressure to trust the faithfulness of my loving Father rather than my ability to perform admirably or to conjure up faith? And don’t you think my performance will be better anyway when I release my need to “be okay” through performance and trust the goodness of the One who is more than willing to make me “okay” because of what Jesus did on my behalf?

I think what is striking to me about all this is how far the reign of grace extends into my life as a believer. Grace didn’t just cover my weakness when I first came to Jesus as a sinner desperately needing His help. Grace continues to cover me in the midst of living a relatively purposeful Christian life. I suppose that’s the whole Romans 5 thing: “In order that just as sin reigned in death, grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life.” We never graduate from Grace to Law. Ever. Grace is king over the new believer and the mature believer alike. And "growing in grace" will mean diving deeper into the same stuff that saved us in the first place and trusting the Grace-Giver like little kids. Sounds like good new to me.

10.24.2018

Getting Free of Offense


I’m becoming convinced that one of the most dangerous things that stands against the growth of a Christian is the ability to take offense. As the Lord has been stripping things out of my life to make room for a stronger and more consistent experience of his Presence, one of the notable things that is being removed is the offense I’ve taken at people, political figures, and other Christians. 

I’ve become painfully aware of the ways in which I’ve taken offense and nursed judgments against people based on my ignorance. Worst of all, I’ve put my offense in the category of “righteous indignation” believing that God was somehow pleased by my courage in “holding the line”, resisting evil, speaking truth. Televangelists, politicians, conservatives, liberals, denominations I dislike or disagree with, cultural or religious groups: enemies. 

I’m aware today of how very self-deceived I’ve become, how ignorant I’ve been. I’ve been lured in by other people’s offense and spread my own offense on blogs and social media like the highly contagious disease it is. For all that, I now repent.

Yesterday, God told me to read a passage in staff meeting. Matthew 5:21… “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister, will be subject to judgment.”

At the time I didn’t apply it to myself, but one of my teammates said “that’s the passage we read in our bible study this morning. God must be speaking to you!” So we spent time in prayer inviting God to search our hearts and then went on with the meeting. Later that day I found myself in a prayer meeting with 2 pastors from a local church. They were there to pray over me and my teammate before we go to India next week. When these 2 pastors began to pray, this issue of offense began to rise up in my heart.

When I had moved to the south 6 years ago, I had formed strong judgments about that church based on a few experiences and a lot of assumptions. I even wrote an incendiary blog post about one of the experience I had at one of their events.

But in that prayer meeting Jesus walked into the room as these men prayed. The presence of God was so thick as they blessed us with prayers for safety, protection, and anointing on our trip. I realized then that these men, and their church had never done anything but bless me, even though in my heart I had been cursing them all this time. Yet I recognized in them kindred hearts; brothers on their own unique journey with Jesus who lives in me and also in them. I felt convictions rising in me and wrestled with the reality that I would have to talk to them about this. As I wrestled with wanting to confess and apologize to them for my offense but also not wanting to be vulnerable, I heard the Holy Spirit in my heart.

“Child, do you know what your heart is without offense?”
“No Lord. What?”
“Free.”

That settled it. Pulling them aside after prayer, I shared the story. I repented for my hard and bitter hard. I asked for their forgiveness as representatives of their community. With great tenderness and compassion they accepted my confession and one of the pastors put his hand on me to pray for me. As he did, I wept: something I rarely do in front of others. I walked away lighter, joyful, free from that barb of offense that had been lodged in my heart for years.

So I wonder… who has offended you? 

And what will you do about it now?

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