Beatitudes as Revolution

Two things really strike me about the “Beatitudes” in Matthew 5... that’s the “blessed/happy are those that” passages.

1. They are among the first things Jesus teaches his disciples. And they are FOR the disciples (the crowds don’t seem to be around for that episode).

2. They fly in the face of every belief and expectation the disciples likely had about living a good and blessed life.

Blessed are the poor? The disciples likely believed that prosperity was a bi-product of righteous living. Poverty was anathema, not blessing.

Blessed are those who mourn? Sure, the Hebrew were good mourners, but sorrow and mourning were for those cursed with a tragedy or afflicted by guilt. A pleasant life was the goal.

Blessed are the merciful? Blessed are the peacemakers? Peace and mercy were the furthest things from the heart of a colonized nation. Rather, let’s talk about an eye for an eye, just war, winning back the nation for God’s people, forcefully laying hold of God’s kingdom and instituting it on the earth.

Yet in spite of all this, Jesus inaugurates his ministry with some of the hardest teachings he can muster. He wants to demonstrate right off the bat that his ministry will run crosscurrent to all other Rabinic ministries around. He is distinguishing his message over and against all other available religious dogmas. We don’t see the disciples reaction, but I imagine there was a lot of squirming and confusion. Yet the must have been strangely attracted to this upside-down kingdom ethic.

They continued to have an uncomfortable love/hate relationship with Jesus’ hard teachings throughout their time with him. It’s like when you marry someone who has exactly the qualities you need in your life to balance and complement your personality, and yet it’s those same qualities that drive you crazy and cause the most fights in your marriage.

But Jesus never backed down from the hard stuff. He stood strong. But his obstinacy was totally different of the obstinacy of most Christians today. Many Christians today are passionate about “standing for righteousness”, which in most cases means being vocal in defending and promoting a limited set of moral values based loosely on biblical teachings. But Jesus never told his disciples to lobby for a “10 commandments” monument in the Roman forum or to write editorials bemoaning the loss of prayer in school. Rather he commanded them to be courageous in generosity, to forgive outrageously, to be innocent like small children, to lead by becoming servants, and to fight tooth and nail against self-reliance and works-righteousness.

Jesus was no wimp. But the kingdom he stood for had to invade hearts before it could pervade societies. The “hills” that Christ was willing to die on weren’t gay marriage and abortion: they were forgiveness, peace, the inversion of human power structures in the kingdom, heart-righteousness, and grace. Not a warm fuzzy grace, but a kind of grace that reaches out when everyone else has given up. It’s a grace that stands militantly against its opponents (self-righteousness and legalism), battling them in the strongest possible terms.

I’m trying to imagine how Jesus might teach the beatitudes if he were a pastor in small town America. How would Jesus purposefully challenge OUR assumptions and beliefs about a good and blessed life? I imagine him inviting his friends over for a meeting: a couple folks from Third Baptist Church, the town drunk, a couple lawyers, a housewife, a farmer, and the guy from the local garage.

“Thanks for coming,” he says. “Let’s get started. There are a few things I want to talk with you about tonight. This is a little message I’ve titled ’8 tips for a happy life.’ Ready?

“#1: Don’t look down on the poor. They’ve got it made in God’s kingdom! In fact, you’ll be happy if you have less money, a smaller house, and a crappier car. Why not sell your stuff and give it to charity? Then it won’t weigh you down and you’ll inherit God’s kingdom.

“#2: Give up entirely on the American dream, on the “pursuit of happiness.” Let it die. Frankly, you’ll be happier if you cry more. Seriously. Grieving is wonderful. How else will you be comforted if you don’t get comfortable with pain? Don’t run from it! Stick with sorrow. It’s not weakness. It’s a blessing.

“#3: You’ll be happy if you have such a meek and lowly demeanor that everybody thinks you’re small and insignificant. Look for chances to demote yourself, to be a “nobody” in the eyes of the world. Be confident instead that you are God’s ‘somebody’! Don’t give a second thought to what kind of legacy you are leaving or what kind of monuments they’ll build for you when your gone. If you can you that, you will inherit the whole earth.

“#4: Be hungry and thirsty to please God, to do what he says, and to practice justice. Pray for more that hunger. God loves to answer those prayers and he’ll fill your hunger for righteousness.

“#5: Be known for showing mercy, even to those who don’t deserve it. Stop to talk with hurting people, even if you don’t have time. Give 20 bucks to the homeless guy even if he might use it on alcohol. Bring a sack of groceries to the undocumented immigrants living next door. It’s not just for them. It’s for you. Because you are just like them and you really need God’s mercy.

“#6: Want to see God? Have a pure heart. Not a pure theology, or a pure lifestyle, or a pure esoteric religious life, but a pure heart. Don’t worry about the outward stuff so much. It’s what’s inside that matters more.

“#7: Advocate for peace. Peace in your home. Peace in your church. Peace between nations. Be someone that builds bridges rather than fighting back. You’ll gain a reputation as child of God.

“#8: You’ll be happy and blessed if you are accused, attacked, and insulted... not for being a jerk or for doing wrong, but for following me, for demonstrating mercy and justice in your daily decisions. I’m going to challenge the status quo and turn everything on its head. People will hate you, say untrue things against you, and ridicule you for associating with me. That’s good! Don’t fight it. Take it. If you can do that, you’ll inherit a big bonus in heaven. THAT’S something you can be happy about.”

Can you imagine that message being taught in some of our churches, small groups, and communities... Not just taught, but actually lived out? It was revolutionary then and it still is today. It messes with everything we think and believe, even in the church. We often worry that the word of God isn’t more deeply shaping our culture. But has it invaded your life? Has it invaded your church culture? So how can it invade our broader culture? Protesting moral decay won’t change the culture. But being courageous in leading weak and humble lives defined by grace.... that just MIGHT change things.

Moral and spiritual influence in our homes, churches, and governments will ALWAYS look different than we imagine. It will never happen the way we think. It comes through meekness, mercy, and powerlessness... through the “foolish things” of the world, and NOT through misguided power-grabs, false confidence, or external “righteousness”. It begins in our hearts. It always has.

Part 2: That Crazy Month and the Love of the Father

I had finally arrived back in Atlanta. I had gone straight to Scottish Rite on the northside, curled up on the floor and gone to sleep. In the morning, Levi, looking pitiful with his oxygen tubes and IV, woke up feeling better. He seemed generally nonplussed to see me and was soon chatting everybody’s ear off. Before long, he was squirming so much, we disconnected his tubes and he started running around the room, staring out the window, and discussing every object he could see. His oxygen was stable, so they discharged him with an inhaler later that morning.

We collected our other kids from the Boltons, our amazing surrogate family in Fayetteville (who put everything on hold to help us) and went home. We walked in and discovered our kitchen had been cleaned and our fridge was overflowing with meals from various people. Over the course of the next 2 weeks, the meals just kept pouring in from people in our church. That’s one thing our church is really good at: feeding people.

We were so happy to be home and felt so loved by people, but realized we were walking into a busy week. I spent a day roasting coffee and then went into 2 full days of meetings. That weekend, I helped as much as I could so Debra could finish her Etsy orders, which got backlogged when Levi got sick.

Early the next week, Debra came down with the flu to end all flus. She was weak, had a bad cough, splitting headache, and fever. I canceled all my appointments went into caretaking mode. I was already running on empty physically, emotionally, and relationally. I struggled hard to be a kind and patient person (without much success). I hunkered down as best I could. I’m sorry to say I wasn’t a pleasant person to be around last weekend. I was cold, irritable, and generally resentful. But by Wednesday a couple good friends helped me gain some perspective and take some deep breaths.

By Friday, Debra was struggling to breath and we took her back to Scottish rite, asking our dear friends the Boltons to take our kids (again) which they did graciously. We drove the hour-long drive to Northside hospital (the ONLY hospital in Atlanta that takes our crazy insurance policy) and Debra was poked, prodded, x-rayed, and eventually discharged with a diagnosis of pneumonia and a prescription for the strongest antibiotic available.

A stop at the billing office revealed that our insurance was inactive (SOMEONE forgot to pay the premium last month... oops...) and we would have to pay cash for our visit. Words were exchanged, opinions were voiced, and credit cards were tentatively handed over. We walked out to our car frustrated, tired, ready to go home. Debra was still weak and not breathing deeply.

We started the car and tried unsuccessfully to drive up the hill and out of the parking lot. The engine was revving, but the car wasn’t going. A look under the hood revealed the problem: transmission fluid was spraying out of a cracked hose. Old Bessy, our beloved ’95 Odyssey, wasn’t going anywhere. After wrestling with the hose for an hour and drenching myself in transmission fluid, I called our mechanic. Rodney generously offered to drive to north Atlanta to fix the hose on the spot. 3 long hours later, Bessy was running again.

The kids were asleep at the Boltons and they encouraged us to go home, enjoy a night in our own beds without the kids there, and sleep in. The next morning I woke up happy to a quiet house (which had been cleaned thoroughly by our amazing babysitter) and sipped my coffee. Life was sweet again in that moment.

That night, the date night we planned (the first since I got home from Africa) got cancelled, which was maybe just as well since Debra was feeling extremely week and still not breathing well. Annabel also came down with a fever and cough that lasted until Sunday.

Rodney came back Friday night to finish plugging holes in the transmission lines. In the process (I think because of all the stress the transmission had been under), I lost first gear. So Bessy runs and drives, but starts VERY slowly. She’s also making some new noises I’ve never heard before. And at nearly 200,000 miles, I think it’s time to put our 20-year-old van out to pasture. So we are praying for a new van.

Yesterday, I stood up in church and publicly thanked everyone for being Jesus to us in all the craziness. They really have been incredible. Besides all the food, cleaning help, and visitors, I now have total strangers asking how Levi is doing. It’s been a saga, and it’s not over. But this morning, the kids are healthy, Debra is on the mend, and things just MIGHT be returning to “normal”. And if they do, this time next week, Debra and I will be going up to the Smoky Mountains for 3 days while her parents fly down to watch the kids. Fingers crossed. Not holding breath.

As for me, all the uncertainty and everything-falling-apart-all-at-once has had a softening effect. Many people have called this “an attack” and I don’t disagree. But I think God is doing some really good work in me through it. I’m not totally sure what it is yet, but I believe runs along the rails of expectation, empathy, responsibility, and trust. It has exposed a lot of self-centeredness and helped me face some hard realities. I’ve also gotten to watch God provide in ways I don’t deserve. Overall, I think I’m growing. I’m not seeing a lot of the fruit yet, but there’s some really good tilling going on.

That Crazy Month and the Love of the Father

The story of this last month has run along one eerily consistent plotline: NOTHING works... at least not the right away, and certainly not like I expected. It’s almost comical.

I left you last in Addis Ababa. I had arrived on a bumpy local bus (that I almost didn’t get a seat on) after 10 exhausting hours squished between two Ethiopians. 

I arrived to find I didn’t have a hotel lined up. But after a couple tense hours, I found myself at the mission guesthouse in a comfortable room paying a tenth of what I would have paid at the hotel.

The seminar I had come to teach was not what I expected: 7 guys instead of 30. 9 hours instead of 14. And I was unprepared to teach.... BUT it turned out I really needed the extra rest time, I managed to get my notes prepped, and the small group setting was a much more fulfilling experience for me. Less teaching, more dialogue.

Then because I had more time in my schedule than anticipated, I caught a ride (at the last minute, of course) to a Bobogaya, a breath-taking retreat center, a Edenic garden of spindly trees in full purple bloom tumbling down to a volcanic lake.

There I met Gary, my pastor from Fayetteville for a retreat with a dozen rough-and-tumble frontline missionary families scattered throughout Northern Ethiopia. Throughout the weekend, I learned what sacrifice looks like: these talented families had given up career, family, community, comfort, and safety to live in towns and villages on Ethiopia’s inhospitable frontier, to do what they felt God told them to do: Bring Christ’s love to dark places. These people were the real deal, and they would show Christ’s love to me.

Sunday morning, I got an email from Debra:

“I have no idea when you'll get this, but I need you to know that I'm taking Levi to the ER right now for breathing stuff.  I called the nurse line and they told me to take him in. The girls are at the boltons. I'll keep you posted.”

I felt sick. Suddenly my beautiful retreat center was the last place in the world I needed to be. As the day progressed, Levi was transferred by ambulance to another hospital where his oxygen level continued to plummet and he was given pure oxygen just to keep him alive and breathing. I felt helpless. I sat in the big room at Bobogaya and was surrounded by dozens of people who know that feeling all too well. Warm hands rested on my back and neck as earnest prayers, cries for help were voiced on our behalf. I wept, feeling lost and loved and the same time. Gary was especially instrumental that weekend in helping me process all the chaos both from the Ethiopia trip and things happening on the home front. He was encouraging, thoughtful, a good listener, helpful, and generous. In that situation, he was as good as a father to me.

After the prayer time, scheming little huddles of people formed and I got the sense that this community was ready to move heaven and earth to help me get home. A ride to the airport, cash for the journey, anything they could do. I was also getting news from our friends back home. They were also moving heaven and earth to help Debra. The girls stayed with our friends, the Boltons (bringing their total kid count to 6). Other friends came over to clean our disastrous house. Others brought meals (when we got home our fridge was overflowing and the meals just kept coming). Others braved the hour-long drive through Atlanta to visit Debra and give emotional support. We don’t have family where we live, but at this moment, our community there (and my ad-hoc community in Ethiopia) was better than family. They were God’s love to us activated through human hearts: Christ’s “body” doing what it was made to do.

At Bobogaya the power was out and my phone was barely getting signal. So changing my ticket became a big saga. We traveled to town to buy credit for my phone. Then I called the ticket office in Addis, who told me I would need to call the US office. I made the international call and ALMOST managed to change the ticket before I ran out of credit and got cut off. With my last scratch card, I called Debra, who had barely slept all night and asked her to call on my behalf. After a long time, she called me to confirm that I was on the plane leaving that night.

The team decide I wasn’t about to travel the 90 minutes to the airport alone in a taxi, so they sent a small delegation with me in their best vehicle to make sure I got through security (which I did, though my green coffee beans did not... sad face).

The flight over the Atlantic was incredibly long and I numbed my brain with 4 movies and whatever sleep I could manage. All went smoothly until I reached Miami and discovered my flight to Atlanta was delayed 45 minutes. Yay.

I arrived in Atlanta close to 11pm, and my friend was there to pick me up and take me straight to the hospital. In spite of how all the pieces finally came together, I was exhausted and my emotional reserves were totally depleted. I was about to walk into a high-needs situation with absolutely nothing to give but my physical presence.

I found Levi and Debra sleeping soundly in a dark room at Scottish Rite. I blew up my little camping mattress, laid on the floor and went to sleep. I had made it home. 

God’s care and provision were unbelievable. In spite of a dozen twists and turns, HE got me home. I was beyond myself. I had nothing to give, but I was there. And as long as everything went smoothly from that point on, we would all be okay. Well... everything did NOT go smoothly. My prayer has been, "God, thank you. But this is really hard... But thank you... But this is hard..." 

I’ll leave it there for the moment.

Homosexuality is not a Verb

Can I clarify something? Because for all the discussion on this topic, my Christian friends have not yet adopted this distinction in their vocabulary and it’s sending some really bad messages. When evangelical Christians use the word “homosexuality”, they are almost always referring to sexual behavior between two people of the same gender. When EVERYBODY else in our culture uses the word, it refers to attraction and not behavior. Homosexuality refers to a person’s attraction to the same gender and NOT to the behavior associated with that attraction.

Hate to say it folks, but the church got this one wrong and the culture is right here. Whatever you believe about homosexual behavior, homosexuality is a word that refers to attraction and not behavior. It’s not something you do. It’s not something you can “commit”. It’s an adjective; not a verb. A homosexual is someone who is attracted to the same gender. And yes, a person can be gay without ever being sexually active. This isn’t rocket science, people.

Terminology matters! Why? Because when we talk about homosexuality as a sin people commit, we are telling everybody that has ever felt attracted to the same sex that the attraction they feel makes them uniquely sinful (more so than others) and the only hope for them is to change their orientation. This is a dangerous heresy. So let me say this plainly as a bible-believing Christian: Homosexuality is NOT a sin. In other words, your orientation does not set you apart from God. Your behavior does.

If you believe (as I do) that having sex with the same gender is a sin according to the bible, then hunky dory. Believe it. But don’t let “homosexuality” become a catch all for behavior and orientation. Because many gay men and women are being told that their sexual orientation which is inextricably wired into them (by nurture AND biology), and which most will never be able to significantly alter outside of a miracle makes them dirty, untouchable, and irredeemably separated from God. That’s wrong. That’s unbiblical.