Connection before Correction

I’ve been a bit muddy spiritually the last few days. For days after India, the Presence of God was so electrifying that I felt heat on the front of my face, electricity in my spine and arms, and an intense sensation in my upper abdomen for hours at a time. It felt good, but at times it was so intense I was physically shaking. God was speaking to me with more clarity and accuracy than usual both through “random” scripture references and directly in prayer. But by Saturday it had gotten so intense, I took one mental step away from the Lord’s presence. I’m really not sure why, but I immediately felt the difference. Anxiety and impatience started to creep in. I could still feel God there with me, but the edges and contours of my connection with him were blunted and blurred.

This morning I started rummaging through my spiritual/emotional/relational toolbox to find the right tool for reestablishing a strong connection with Jesus. At some point I pulled out the tool called “teachability”. I started earnestly asking God to change and correct whatever action or attitude might be blocking my relationship with him. I asked him to be honest with me, to correct me, to grow my character. I promised him that even if it was painful, I would cooperate with any lessons he may be trying to teach me.

Almost as soon as I admitted to him that I was struggling, the fog cleared a bit and I could see Jesus in my mental imagery standing just outside my car on the gravel parking lot of the bird sanctuary where I was parked. He looked peaceful, accepting, and a little mischievous as though he was laughing at me.

When I walked out by the lake, I could feel his Presence quietly standing just behind me, his arms wrapped around me as we both enjoyed the sun poking through the tall Georgia pines, streaming across the cold marsh. I started exercising my “teachability tool”  to strengthen the connection with my standard “teach me something and don’t spare me the hard stuff” prayer. I could almost hear him chuckling in my ear. “No child. That’s not what you need right now. For now let me just be with you. All that other stuff comes later.”

I could feel the goodness of his gentle rebuke. I know this stuff. Connection always has to come before correction. Don’t we all know that “truth” is best delivered in a context of safe relational connection (truth spoken in love)? In a deeper sense, Jesus’ claim in John 14 to BE “the truth” means that truth is not a set of principles outside of God that are best delivered relationally, but truth itself IS relational and intrinsically wrapped up in a divine personality.

In my recent work in trauma healing, I’ve learned that one of the hallmarks of trauma is the brain’s tendency to disconnect from an unsafe person or situation to protect itself in the midst of a trauma. Unfortunately although this mechanism protects the person in the short term, this disconnection also results in wrong assessments of the existential meaning of the trauma and all kinds of wrong beliefs about self, the world, and God result. That part of the brain that was traumatize remains disconnected and the wrong conclusions of improperly-processed trauma continue to snowball over time. To heal trauma a person has to reintegrate their minds and reestablish safe relational connection (ideally with God) in the context of the traumatic memory. From there, correct existential meaning can be discerned and right beliefs about self, the world, and God can be established. We are able to metabolize the pain of the trauma in healthy ways without it permanently damaging us. (credit to Dr. Karl Lehman’s “Pain Processing Pathway” for this: www.immanuelapproach.com)

Sorry if that’s a bit heady. For me, the “connection before correction” dynamic just means that my personal connection with God always has to come before the hard work of acquiring new lessons, skills, or maturity; not because I don’t want to learn and grow, but because learning and growth are made possible by connection. The “lessons” rarely lead to effective connection. But connection almost always leads to new “lessons”. It sounds like this:

“My child, I love you. Feel my presence with you right now. I accept you. I care for you. I understand what you are going through and I’m going to take care of everything. I really enjoy being with you. Let me just be your friend right now... can that be enough for you? Good. Now... let’s get to work. There are some things I need you to understand and some things I want you to do.”

Does that make sense?

I suppose then the question remains: how do I establish a reliable connection with the Lord from which everything else can spring naturally?

As I wrestle with that question, I’m tempted to point you to a variety of tools that have helped me. But the reality is that the tools themselves don’t guarantee connection though they can be helpful. What we are really after is not a “connect with Jesus” program that we can put on our computer and run whenever we need it. What we’re after is a whole new operating system that can naturally host a whole suite of new programs that move us toward our natural state of a relationally connected life in Christ.

Someone asked me this morning how I get this consistent connection with Jesus I keep talking about. I asked Jesus how to respond to this friend and instead of giving me words, he showed me a picture. It wasn’t a picture of a lesson, a tool, or a principle. Rather it was a picture of an invitation. In this picture, Jesus was standing in front of my friend with a lighthearted smile on his face, looking into my friend’s eyes. He was beckoning with his hand for her to come with Him. With a conspiratorial smile, He asked her if she wanted to come with him on a new adventure. It was a very tender image.

If you are reading this and it is hitting a nerve, I wonder: can you feel the invitation of Jesus to a deeper connection, even now as you are reading this? No matter how many years you’ve been trying to connect with Him, no matter how much anxiety you have, no matter what your situation is, no matter what your history is, Jesus is meeting you exactly where you are without judgment, trepidation, disgust, or prerequisites. He’s meeting you with right where you are with love and delight, and he’s inviting you on an adventure. Can you feel it?

That’s where it all started for me. One morning two years ago, I heard Jesus say in my mind, “I really like our morning walks together!” and that started changing the way I saw my relationship with Him, knowing that he liked being with me even more than I liked being with Him!”

If you can, in the quiet places of your mind, hear the invitation of Christ to come with Him on a new adventure of connecting and abiding in Him... then let me simply encourage you to go with Him and see where He leads you! From there, we can talk about tools and techniques. But for now, I pray you can feel his invitation to a deeper life with Him.