Immanuel: Real Transformation through God's Presence

It’s official. I’ve changed. It’s been 17 months since a simple prayer exercise called “The Immanuel Approach” with a friend on Skype permanently healed a small traumatic memory from my past and set off an avalanche of personal transformation that continues throughout every day in an emerging “Practice of the Presence of God”. This transformation has felt staggering. I want to share it with you because I’m increasingly convinced that there’s nothing special about me and the reality I’m living in today says more about God’s heart than my ability... that it is all Grace... and that it is available to anyone who wants it.

Including you.

That might feel like an incendiary statement to some of you but I’m being serious. I’m living in freedom and joy at a level of constancy that I never dreamed was possible. (Just ask my wife.) So if you believe (as I once did) that positive transformation in this life is meager, incremental, and hard-fought, then you might think I’m deluded, arrogant, or cruel in telling you this story. I get it. But let me give you a taste of what’s changed in me and then I’ll sketch a bit of the process I’ve observed so far...

*My perceived level of shame and guilt has decreased by at least 90%

*Social anxiety has significantly decreased

*I’ve become able to navigate the negative emotional ramifications of conflict in a tenth the normal time. What used to take me weeks to sort through now can take only minutes.

*I experience God’s presence physically as a warm tingling sensation along with profound peace, gratitude, and joy in relationship with Him several times (and often dozens of times) every single day. I haven’t missed a day since the original Immanuel Approach exercise. There is some discipline behind this but it is intrinsically self-motivating at this point

*Conflict in my marriage went from several fights (and always the same fight) a week to one or two mild conflicts a month (which I’m always quick to make right). And we’re not white-knuckling past relational tension. There’s genuine peace and connectedness between us. Again, just ask my wife.

*I’ve gained access to emotional resources outside myself through God’s Presence that allow me to easily make healthier life decisions from what to eat to how to relate to people in a crowded room.

*For the first time in my life, the Christian life has felt “easy and light”, not “painful and hard”. Christian disciplines likewise feel relatively easy and desirable. I’m living in greater liberty than ever before AND I’m joyfully limiting my own liberty more than ever before for the sake of intimacy with God.

*The bible has come to life and I’m able to internalize scripture on a much deeper level. My hunger for God’s word has increased exponentially and it makes more sense than it ever has.

As I write this, I’m not congratulating myself on my achievement. That’s precisely the point: it’s not my achievement at all. Through a life in God’s Presence, our lives pass away. The bible says our lives are “hidden with Christ in God.” In exchange, God gives us His Spirit to live inside us forever. The Spirit increasingly renews our minds and possesses our daily lives in a process called sanctification. I’m discovering that most Christians have no clue just how deep and permanent this sanctification through life in the Spirit can run. But the vision of sanctification in scripture is total. I’m convinced that there is no alternate view biblically. Romans 8 says, “those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.” Paul says earlier that through the Spirit, we perfectly fulfill the law and requirements of God. Read: the whole Christian life is found in walking by God’s Spirit. And Paul thinks this is possible for Christians because he says, “you however are not IN the realm of the flesh but are IN the realm of the Spirit if indeed the Spirit of God lives IN you.”

So I’ve made it my ambition live in the Spirit by constantly tuning my mind to receive His presence, friendship, direction, discipline, emotional and physical resources, and the shaping of my will through Him. He has shown Himself more than eager to do just that!

I’m not the first person to stumble across this path. I believe many have found their way here throughout history. I just finished reading Brother Lawrence’s “The Practice of the Presence of God” which first ignited my desire to live in God’s Presence when I was younger. Brother Lawrence was a lay Carmelite monk in the 1600’s who experienced an increasing sense of God’s presence throughout the 60+ years of His spiritual journey. When joining the monastery he was taught a variety of prayers, methods, philosophies, and practices for the spiritual life, but he quickly discarded all of them thinking they would only serve to confuse rather than help him. Instead he resolved simply to fix his loving attention on God throughout the day. And while he said it required a little discipline in the beginning, he quickly found his own soul took over and the practice had a self-propagating effect. He would seek God’s presence in every daily activity, asking for God’s additional help to stay in step with Him when that activity required his full attention. He was just as happy with God while washing dishes as in fixed times of prayer. To him religious and “secular” activities were of equal value in leading him into God’s presence. Though he was aware of his own failings and sinfulness, it sounded to me like he lived free from shame. If he sinned, he would ask God’s forgiveness and cheerfully say, “I can nothing else but sin without you!” and resume his intimate dialogue with God as if nothing had happened. What wonderful freedom it would be for us guilt-shackled Christians if we could live with a greater vision of the Father’s love than our vision of our own sinfulness! Isn’t that what Christian growth is all about; returning us to the original design... innocence toward sin and constant relational awareness in communion with God? Isn’t that what we’re all hungry for?

I want you to know it’s available to you and it is MUCH easier to get than you think!

For me, it began by developing a basic “muscle memory” for accessing God’s Presence. Of course the development of this muscle memory depends on the belief that God’s Presence is available to us at all times and not intermittent. That was a new belief for me, but I’ve become thoroughly convinced. There are many ways to do this but ultimately you have to experiment and find what works for you. I discovered through the Immanuel Approach that accessing God’s presence through the vivid mental imagery of past relational connections creates a reliable bridge to a present-moment connection with Him. But ultimately I found that God’s presence connects with us best in the present tense. Go figure.

In other words, reflecting on concepts or ideas doesn’t connect me with God. Thinking about the future doesn’t connect me with God. But remaining present and attentive here and now right where I’m sitting DOES connect me with God.  I also learned that relational connection with God is connected to building relationship joy through gratitude. Sometimes it can help to rehearse things I’m grateful for, but most of the time my gratitude springs naturally from my joy that He has chosen to come be with me!

Once I developed the muscle memory for finding God’s presence, I started inviting him into a variety of new situations: a tense parenting moment, walking through the grocery store, in the middle of a business meeting, right before I fall asleep, right when I wake up, reading an email, listening to a friend, in the middle of an emotional conflict, praying for someone to be healed of cancer. Often my prayer would be simply, “Holy Spirit are you here?” Then I would be quiet for 5-10 seconds and pay attention to what happens. Often that electric pulse of God’s presence would rush in with the mental impression of His voice assuring me of his Presence and his delight. God coming into those situations where he used to feel distant always makes me smile, as though God and I were sharing a secret joke as the world goes on around us. As God pervades more and more situations, his control over my life increases. My need to be right or get my way or get my needs met in artificial way dies down and my peace and contentment in God increases.

I also find myself loving more and loving deeper. Because it turns out that relational connection with God turns on the relational circuits in your brain that regulate empathy and connection. So it’s hard to walk into the grocery store and not feel God’s love for the people I pass. Honestly I’m not sure what to do with that wild impulsive affection I feel sometimes for total strangers. It’s difficult to dehumanize or dissociate from people when I’m connected to God because my brain is telling me it is safe to connect, to humanize, to love. And if I get hurt or exhausted, I feel confident in God’s ability and willingness to repair damage and replenish spent emotional resources... if not now, then soon. I imagine over time, I’ll become one strange bird: someone who cries easily, shows greater interest in others, prays for people whenever possible, shares my faith with tenderness and courage, displays more affection and attentiveness toward strangers... I’m excited to become that person!

I hope you can see how radical this way of life can be. Brother Lawrence taught that the whole of Christian life and practice was summed up in this one simple practice. I’ve always wanted to live here and I’m surprised and delighted to find that actually, God is very eager for me to live here too! I feel as though I’ve just walked through the entryway and God has laid out a whole world for me to explore. I feel even if I don’t take another step, I can stay here, beautifully satisfied in Him. And yet, I feel there is so much more than even this waiting for us.

I’ve hesitated for a long time to put my weight down on this new reality. But I’m finally getting used to the idea of this being my “new normal.” Brother Lawrence talks about the guilt he once felt that in spite of his expectation that God would eventually bring pain and difficulty into his life to sanctify him, he experienced life as nothing but joy and delight, even in the midst of difficulty because of God’s presence with Him. People I’ve encountered who have found the secret of Practicing God’s presence don’t talk about it as a “season” or a “spiritual mountaintop” from which they invariably descend back into reality, but rather as a new reality that increases in depth and intensity over time. So far, that’s been true for me.

I’ve been relatively private about this journey because I sense I needed this thing to form deeply in me before I give it away. But I’ve been eager to tell you about it as well because I want everyone to have the chance to live here.

So if this awakens something in you, maybe a hunger to live more deeply in the Father’s Presence, I’d love to simply encourage you to try believing that this is possible for you. Ask God to unlock the secret of His abiding Presence in your life. Resolve that any sacrifice is worth getting the prize of His Presence. And then begin experimenting with different things to see which ones increase the resonance of His loving Presence. That might be part of Paul means by “find out what pleases the Lord.”

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If you would like additional guidance or would like to go through the Immanuel Approach (www.immanuelapproach.com) to see how God’s Presence can heal traumatic and triggering memories, feel free to send me a message at nharkness@disciplebuilding.org ...In the mean time, if you are still reading this, let me just pray like this for you... Holy Spirit come in the warmth of your Presence and shower your delight on this child of yours. Show up in simple little ways throughout their day. Align their synapses to see you and feel you more and more every day in a variety of situations. Show up in their pain. Show up in their boredom. Show up in their desires and delight. And Jesus, show them and let them know once and for all that you do not leave us as orphans, but you come to us so that we may also be where you are.

One Big Reason to be Thankful

Today I’m thankful for so many things. But one thing I’m especially thankful for today is the way God has become the meeter of all needs in my life. These last few years I’ve learned to trust the way He provides everything from my daily bread to my deep down Existential needs as His child.

Today I am meditating on the middle portion of Jesus’ famous “Sermon on the Mount“ in the sixth chapter of Matthew. At first reading, it looks like a random collection of teachings on different topics: giving, prayer, fasting, etc. But I don’t think that’s what it is at all. I think it is a unified teaching with a central theme: God knows what you need and He wants you to trust that He is the One who meets all needs.

Check it out. What is it that motivates those “hypocrites” Jesus talks about? What drives these self-righteous folks to announce their “righteousness”, their prayer, their fasting? At its core I think these folks are driven by a deep hunger to feel seen and honored by others. But I don’t think Jesus is simply calling them out for arrogant self-righteousness. I think Jesus is calling them out for their basic lack of trust in God. They don’t really believe that God is there, seeing who they are and what they do. They don’t trust that He will reward their righteousness so they do what all religious folk do when they don’t actually believe in the God they’re peddling: they “practice their righteousness before others to be seen by them.” So their “righteousness“ is not driven by a private desire to please the father and align their lives around his will, but rather by a desperate bid to feel their needs being met by the approval of human beings.

I get that. I feel that longing to be seen and valued deep inside me. If I am honest with you, that’s one of the driving needs of my life. And at my worst, it’s what drives my need to perform, not just on stage but in relationships and even in ministry. When I’m driven by that performance need, it tells you something about me. It tells you that I don’t really believe God is there inside of me, Loving me, meeting me in my heart‘s deepest longings. It tells you that I’m living on some level in alienation with God. If you see that in me, you buy what I’m selling because on some level you will know it’s not working for me either.

But this chunk of the sermon is full of good news, not just chastisement or challenge: Good sees what is done in secret and He rewards those who express their deep inner trust both in “heavenly” rewards and in rewards in our life. I would speculate that among those rewards is the gift of a changed perspective and a deeper intimacy with the One who cares for all our needs. Also, Jesus promises that as calm the noisy hypocrisy of “flesh-righteousness” which comes out in loud religious showmanship and lean on God’s help to cultivate the inner heart-righteousness in the private world of our spirits, we’ll find His incredible faithfulness, the trustworthiness of his word, and the confidence of a growing faith.

So Jesus can say, “hey guys, don’t worry about food or drink or clothes, because unbelievers run after these things and your Father knows you needs them! Look at the birds: God feeds them and you’re worth SO much more than a bird! Look at the wildflowers: here today and gone tomorrow, yet so splendidly dressed. Aren’t you worth more than a wild plant?”

This may challenge us because anxiety, shame, unbelief, and self-righteousness are painfully common, even (sometimes especially) among Christians. But we make a mistake if we confuse common with normative. Because if we can trust the words of Christ that in seeking God’s Kingdom, He will happily heap “all these things” (food, clothes, value, true security, meaning, love, and so much more) on top of the pile… well then we’ll have something to be thankful for won’t we? In that place, the words of Jesus will be for us: “your heart will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you.”

Walk by the Spirit: a Gospel Imperative

Quick thought for you: I’ve been studying the gospels in depth for a teaching I’m doing this Friday and one thing is exploding off the page for me as never before. So put this proposition in your pipe and smoke it for a while.

Everything Jesus did with his disciples (outside his primary mission to fulfill scripture in become an atoning sacrifice for sin) was driven by a single overarching lesson in discipleship: walk by Spirit, not by the flesh. This to Jesus was the juice of the Christian life. It was THE thing that would turn a group of fishermen and tax collectors in an unstoppable global movement. That message about walking by the Spirit was:

1. Modeled (the Spirit led Him to the wilderness, the Spirit affirmed his election of disciples, the Spirit empowered the miracles, the Spirit gave him special knowledge).

2. Taught (“I say only what I hear my father saying”, conversation with Nicodemus about being “born of the Spirit”, “The Spirit is willing, the flesh is weak”, “The spirit will teach you all things”, the Sermon on the Mount which I think is normative of the Christian life but only through the Spirit).

3. Empowered (by the temporary gift of the Spirit given the disciples on their first missionary journey and by the indwelling of the Spirit in Acts.)

So if my premise is true, then everything in the Christian life relies not on the Christian’s ability to try harder in the flesh (a miserable Romans 7 reality... doing what you don’t want to do) but on their ability to walk according to the Spirit (a beautiful Romans 8 reality... having the mind of the Spirit).

We can nod in agreement with all this but then muddy the power of this reality by our own Holy Spirit agnosticism. After all the work of the Spirit seems a strange, amorphous blur to us sometimes. And the truth is, we don’t always care for the folks who ARE talking about the Spirit. Shouldn’t we just stick with Jesus and the Bible and leave the Spirit to theologians and missionaries? Or worse... confined to the pages of history?

So painful is our Spirit agnosticism that we sometimes assume walking by the spirit feels a lot like walking by the flesh but with a more accurately “biblical” set of beliefs. We might even assert that person may not “feel different” walking by the Spirit but should simply “check the fruit” (which for many Christians come down to nothing more than growth toward a basically moral life and agreement with Christian doctrines). By the way, I’m all for checking the fruit. But I’d say the “Fruits of the Spirit” (Gal 5) have been so profoundly domesticated as to be confused with humanistic niceness or basic mental health. But looking at the way the Spirit both radically regenerated and empowered people in the bible, I’d say that’s a pretty low view of the Spirit’s work. Wouldn’t you?

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If then the role of the Spirit is not an optional add-on for mystical types but the foundational “juice” for the Christian life... if being “filled with the Spirit” is both radical and imperative, then how can we begin to understand and experience the dynamic of His work in our lives in a way that actually makes us “holy” (read: opposite of common)? For many of us, that’s not our daily experience, but it is our deep longing. Maybe the question isn’t so much “what does it look like” as it is, “do you want to enter the rabbit hole and find out”?

Fasting as Rest

A host of new research has been lauding the health benefits of fasting lately.  Water fasts in particular (as opposed to juice or other fasts) have been lauded for their effectiveness in slowing the aging process, strengthening the immune system, reducing the risk of diabetes, and inducing cellular reparation (google it). Some doctors are even calling it a “cancer insurance policy”.

But my introduction to fasting came through the pathway of Christian spirituality, not medicine. So my interest in fasting has been primarily for spiritual reasons, though I admit the health benefits are compelling. I’ve fasted occasionally over the last 15 years or so, mainly to improve my prayer life, hear from God, and grow spiritually. While I’ve had some interesting experiences, during most of my fasts I felt further from God, not closer. So I just figured the point of fasting was to learn perseverance in the midst of physical discomfort and fatigue.

But in the last year or two my spiritual life has deepened in some interesting ways. Suddenly, fasting has begun to make sense to me as I’ve developed a spiritual life based less on achievement and more on “abiding in Christ”; consistently experiencing His real (i.e. not metaphorical or contrived) Presence and interacting with him throughout the day on an emotional and spiritual level as well as an intellectual level.

In light of the dramatic shifts in my spiritual life over the last year or two, I’ve gained some clarity on why it is often so difficult for those who (like me) come from a conservative evangelical background to embrace fasting as a desirable spiritual practice.

I think that evangelical culture going back to the periods following the Great Awakenings of the 18^th century have been deeply shaped by an enlightenment worldview that bred suspicion against contemplative Christianity. These evangelical movements often championed a rationalist epistemology that focused on spiritual growth (sanctification) through right doctrine, biblical knowledge, and mind-based prayer over and against spiritual practices such as abiding prayer, meditation, and fasting.

So when evangelicals fast they often find their spiritual practices, which are largely based on mentally rigorous bible-reading, intercessory prayer, intellectual stimulation, and reflective writing get torpedoed by the inevitable mental fatigue we experience in fasting, especially in the first couple days. In our desire for spiritual achievement, we’ve lost our ability to cultivate restful spiritual practices. Fasting challenges that and it is uncomfortable.

Even those who engage God more through emotions than intellect may experience some disillusionment while fasting since the mental fatigue of fasting impacts our emotional capacity as well. I find that at different points I become irritable (especially on day 2) or I feel emotionally dull. But I’ve had a few experiences where in spite of feeling mentally and emotionally “low” I’m able to have a vibrant experience with God on what I can only call a “soul” level. Actually, the experience of fasting bolstered my belief in the soul as something separate from the brain. I think fasting can help us understand the form and function of our spirits and how they interact with God’s Spirit on a sub-cognitive level. I believe we are integrated beings and that our life with God works best when body, mind, heart, and soul are fully developed in relationship to God. But it seems that evangelicals are not good at engaging their own spirits with God’s Spirit due to inbred suspicions or simple inexperience. Thus our spiritual lives become anemic and need focused attention to develop properly. I think fasting can help with that.

I’ve already alluded to this, but fasting majorly challenges our achievement-based mindset by imposing physical limits, which impact our ability to work, strive, and achieve. I find I have to slow everything down. I walk slower. I perform tasks much more slowly and deliberately and I have to have patience with myself as I may not be able to accomplish as much during a fast. This is actually really healthy for me since I’m a natural doer and am not good at resting and imposing physical limitations to cultivate rest with God.

I want to propose that we not view fasting primarily as a way to achieve or gain something from God (such as an answer to prayer or direction on a major life decision) but as a way to be with God in weakness and to form the character of our souls. Is it enough to fast just to cultivate a restful “present-ness” with Jesus that doesn’t need to gain anything from Him? Can we be content to let God shape us in the dull, weak, and painful parts of fasting rather than using a fast to shape God according to our desires?

If this resonates with you, can I propose a little experiment? (Of course, you can tailor this to fit your needs). Try a 5 day fast. I thought this was a radical idea until I read about the many people who regularly perform 10, 15, even 30 day water fasts for health benefit alone! So really 5 days isn’t such a big deal is it? J Drink lots of water. I also do black coffee and unsweetened tea for variety (and because... its coffee... I mean seriously).

During the fast, don’t put any pressure on yourself to read large chunks of the bible or have epic intercessory prayer sessions. This time is for cultivating rest and embracing God’s restful presence in your life. That being said, have grace for yourself when you find at times you feel restless, irritable, and very very hungry. That’s normal and will fade after a couple days so don’t over-spiritualize it. When you’re ready, turn your attention to the Father in simple meditative prayer. Don’t worry about saying much or needing to hear anything specific from Him. Just be with him and enjoy His presence. If you like, you can grab a single verse or phrase from scripture to mull over. If you’re up for it, you can even try meditating on a single verse for an hour or more and see what it does to your insides. Better, yet ask him what HE wants to do in you and how He wants you to spend your fast and just listen to him. You might be surprised by how He leads you. And have fun!

I hope that those of us from a conservative evangelical background (especially us in the west) can learn to enjoy fasting from a place of Rest rather than from a place of striving. Because beyond its physical benefits fasting from Rest can become a rich and spiritually formative experience. It can challenge our paradigms for spiritual life while nurturing our souls on a very deep level and cultivating intimacy with God. If you try your own fasting experiment, I’d love to hear how it goes!