Be a rushing river.

I’ve had a running deal with God that whenever I wake up each morning, I’ll stay up and spend the time with him. It’s tempting to go back to sleep, to horde as much rest as possible. But the idea of a loving heavenly Father waking me up to come soak in His love has taken on an alluring sweetness.

So we’re back in Minnesota after 5 weeks on the road. And I’m back on the porch each morning, reveling in the sweetness of His Presence. It’s 30 degrees cooler, but He’s still meeting me, speaking to me, showing His affection.

As I thought about the constant in-pouring of God’s presence, I heard Him say to me, “You have no reason to horde.” I thought about the way I’ve often withheld my love, and time, and energy from my family, fearing that I would somehow “run out” of resources. I’ve defended my relational boundaries tenatiously because I don’t trust people to care for me. I’ve horded sleep, and energy, and food, and time, and personal space because sometimes I’m scared that there won’t be enough to go around.

The difference is between a rushing river and a stagnant pond. One works hard to protect what it has. It doesn’t gain and it doesn’t lose. It attracts some interesting life forms and starts to smell after awhile. A river is constantly pouring out because it is constantly receiving. It’s a conduit rather than a cesspool. And because it is built on a hill, it doesn’t have much of a choice.  If there is no water, it runs dry.

It’s easy to be a river in the spring when water is always available. But the constant challenge of my life is to trust God enough that when His presence seems to run dry, I can keep pouring out, keep loving, and remember the smell of rain and the sound of fast water.

¹⁰ Then I thought, “To this I will appeal:
   the years when the Most High stretched out his right hand.
¹¹ I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
   yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
¹² I will consider all your works
   and meditate on all your mighty deeds.”

(Ps. 74:10-12)